Thank you to everyone for all your encouraging words and for being so understanding about my last rant. I truly appreciate your kindness. You guys are oh so kool!
As I commented to Jen yesterday, "I've finally finished building the bridge I used to get over myself." My appetite has calmed down a bit and the feeding frenzy appears to be over. Things are slowly returning to normal. I am in the process of redirecting my focus and am feeling much more positive about everything. I'm moving on to a better place. I have a modified game plan in mind, but I don't have time to write about it now.
I didn't make it to the gym yesterday or today. This is the third or fourth consecutive Monday that I've opted out. I thought about this Sunday night and decided to stop playing games with myself about my Monday morning workouts. The problem is that I don't get to bed until 11:30p or 12:30a on Sunday nights because I'm up watching my beloved EastEnders. Plus, I've somehow unwittingly allowed myself to become hopelessly addicted to yet another British sitcom, Kiss Me Kate, which immediately follows EE for another 30 minutes. I require at least six hours of uninterrupted sleep to function properly and keeping such late hours makes rising at 5am pretty much unreasonable out of the question. And since I am unwilling (perhaps unable at the moment) to forego my Sunday evening ritual, something else must be amended. This being the case, I hereby proclaim my emancipation from Monday morning workouts and declare Monday an official "off/rest day." And I am unanimous in that! (I love exerting my authority!) I'll just have to get in a decent walk or some other form of exercise on Sundays or perhaps do something on Monday evenings. Still deliberating, but I'll get it sorted soon.
Since I haven't been to the gym this week, I haven't weighed yet. I may just skip the scale drama altogether this week and save myself a headache. I mean, considering this past weekend's "episodes," I really don't see the point. Plus, I have a ton of domestic stuff to do in preparation for my dinner guest this weekend so I may not even make it to the gym before Saturday.
I just realized that my 5K walk is less than two weeks away and I haven't even registered yet. Whoa! I need to get that done and pick up my race packet soon.
And now, without further ado, the digits -- the good, the bad, the ugly:
*At some point during the night the electricity went out so I woke up around 7am (instead of 5am) to a BLINKING alarm clock!!!
Is that just plain KRAZY or what??? UNBELIEVABLE!!! I think this is a record, folks. Emotional eating SUCKS! Uhm, and I really thought I was past this particular self-destructive behaviour.
Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies. I'm not even going to bother with a detailed explanation of all that crap. Suffice it to say there was fried fish, potato wedges and lots of whole milk and half & half involved here, along with chai tea (and folks jackin' with my money). And the saddest part is that the chai tea wasn't even that good (nor was the fish). I should have had a V-8 some Merlot!
Note to Self: I MUST learn to deal with anger and disappointment in more effective, non-caloric ways. The collateral damage to my confidence and motivation just isn't worth it.
PMS and anger/emotional eating definitely do not mix. Or is the former the cause of the latter? Perhaps anger management training is in order. Oh well, oh well! Today is a new day. Hope your weekend started out better than mine. Be back later with more updates. I'm out!
I thought about it last night and decided it's time for me to snap out of this funk and take it like a woman. I will no longer allow my laziness to trump my exercise. Nope! I'm not goin' out like that. So, I finally did it! I drug my arse outta bed this morning and made it to the gym at 6:05. My treadmill was so glad to see me. It missed me terribly! I know it did and I missed it, too. It seems we've still got our thing goin' on. I just jumped on and picked up right where I left off. Actually, I did a little better than when I was last on it. I increased my high speed a bit (from 3.3 to 3.5 mph). Walked 65 mins. (5 min. CD) at 3.0 to 3.5 mph. Burned 381 calories.
And the scale greeted me with good news, too. Despite my impromptu exercise hiatus, I'm down 2 more pounds. This puts me at 215 and increases my total loss to 41 pounds. I'm kool with that. I got a feelin' I just busted through my exercise slump. Hoooraaaay for Hollywoooooood!!!
I'm tellin' ya folks, this chick is seriously outta control over here. Still no exercise or weigh-in as of this writing. I'm trippin'... BIG TIME! I guess taking a couple of days off last week really threw me off track. And I was on such a roll for the last couple of months. I don't know what my deal is. I have no excuses. I just don't go. I've come to the conclusion that I'm just being LAZY! I've decided to stop lying to myself and just admit it. I really don't know what to say. I've just been watchin' telly and sittin' on my arse. The only positives I can think of are that I've been doing decent with water intake and I haven't done (too) badly with food. It's been over two weeks since my last weigh-in so I have no idea what the damage is. I just pray I haven't gained. Actually, I'm hoping I've lost at least a pound or two over the last couple of weeks. I've got nerve, huh? LOL Oh well, oh well! I trip like that sometimes. Say a little prayer, won't cha?
Not much else to say at the moment. Things have been calm and mainly uneventful around here, with the exception of a couple of car insurance issues. I think I've resolved those, so all should be well. I haven't yet decided how to RE-motivate myself. You would think that looking and feeling better would be motivation enough, huh?
Anyway, here are the digits I've allowed to pile up for the past week:
I've been feeling a bit out-of-sorts lately. Not sick, just feeling a little blah and not feeling like exercising or blogging. I haven't gone to the gym this week, so I haven't weighed myself yet. I did do a 3-mile walk yesterday morning, but no weight training or yoga this week. Hopefully this slump will pass soon. I plan to hit the gym in the morning.
I've been thinking about this whole weight loss process and I guess I'm starting to get a bit impatient with it all. I've been doing pretty well up to this point. So far I've lost 39 pounds, but I just have such a long, LONG way to go. As of my last weigh-in, I still have 77 more pounds to lose. To me, this is a HUGE amount of weight. I realize that "slow and steady" is a favorable road to permanent weight loss, but it's just taking soooooooo daaaaaaang loooooong! I know I probably shouldn't focus so much on the "big picture," but I really want this to be OVER already. I'm not going to give up on myself, I'm just tired of waiting. Perhaps I'll break it down into mini-goals and see how that works. I'll have to think about that.
I'm at a point where I'm stuck between clothes sizes and it's beginning to bother me. My size 18 pants (down from 20) are getting almost too big to wear and rather sloppy looking. While I can finally fit into (fully buttoned and zipped) some of my size 16 pants, they are still a bit snug. Also, the weight is coming off pretty much evenly all over my body, instead of a lot in a couple of places. This is good and it has become obvious to others that I've lost weight, but because the weight is coming off gradually from my bust, waist and hips, it's taking a long time for me to move down in clothes sizes. Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased that it's coming off, but reductions in my forearms, calves, knees, fingers, etc., just are not reflected much in my clothes size. Hopefully, after losing another 10 to 15 pounds I'll be able to fit comfortably into a 16. I truly regret allowing myself to get this far out of control. Oh well, oh well. I guess I'll just have to get over myself and stay the course.
I drove over to Braes Bayou this morning and got in a 2-hour, 6-mile walk, but unfortunately, it looks like I'm going to have to postpone my C25K training afterall. Walking outdoors is a bit tougher than walking on a treadmill and walking on grass even more so. I tried to do the C25K after a 10-minute warm-up walk and stretching, but it just wasn't happening today. I started feeling the pain in my shins again after the second 1-minute running segment. I decided to stop running and do a long walk instead.
I think there are a couple of reasons for the pain, but I believe my weight is the primary factor. Also, these shoes are just not cutting it for running, and the muscles in my shin and calf areas are probably just not yet strong enough to support the running, especially at this weight. I'm somewhat disappointed, but rather than risk injuring myself, I'll just hold off on the running until I drop a few more pounds. I think I'll wait until I drop below 200 and then give it another try. According to my progress projections, that should be some time around late June, early July. Also, by then I should have decided which running shoe I'll buy. It'll definitely be a good motion control shoe (for overpronation) designed for heavier runners. Until then, I'll continue walking at least 4 days a week, including a good hill workout once a week and a long walk on weekends. Oh, but trust me, I'll be back, strong! I WILL be running by late summer. Count on it!
When I started my walk at 10:10am, the temperature was about 71F and by the time I was done at 12:15p, it was up to 81F. It started out kind of overcast, but breezy with the sun peeking out occasionally, but about 45 minutes into the walk, the sun came out full force and it started getting kind of hot. The breezes were fewer and farther between. By the time I finished, I could feel that the sun had baked me a little bit, especially my face. I look like I have a light layer of dirt on my forehead, nose and cheeks. Not good. I also felt like I got a tad overheated. From now on, I'll have to start my walks not later than 8am if I'm going to avoid the hot Houston sun.
Note to Self: Must remember to get high-SPF sunscreen for my outdoor walks.
I didn't have anything to eat or drink with me so I just toughed it out until I got back to my car. I drove to a nearby grocery store, picked up a 32 oz. bottle of Powerade and downed half of it within a minute. I must have been somewhat dehydrated. I really need to start taking something with me to refuel on these long walks. I have a pouch that I wear around my waste that has plenty of space to put an energy bar or something in, but I just can't see lugging my 32 oz. water bottle with me on a 2-hour walk. I think I'll check into some new gear for carrying stuff with me. Also, I read somewhere that drinking a Slim-Fast after a long run enhances the recovery process faster than other drinks. I've decided to try it today to see how it works for me. I feel pretty good, but my legs feel quite tired right now. All-in-all, it was a nice walk. I really felt/feel it.
I have no appetite right now. I just want to relax so I'm gonna kick back for a bit, get my Slim-Fast out of the freezer, watch the rest of the World Skating Challenge and then check out the Lakers-Spurs game before I start cooking. Be back later with my stats update.
*Also drank 32 oz. Powerade. *Walk (Outdoors/Grass), 2 hr., 5 min., 3.0 mph, 6 mi, 800 cals. (According to the Fitness Partner Calculator, walking on grass for 2 hours burns 1,025 calories. I'm not so sure about that since it didn't show mph for grass, so I adjusted it down.)
The Verdict: Not guilty by reason of temporary insanity.
Yep, I think I lost my mind today. The morning started off weird from the jump. First, I didn't get up when the alarm went off so I was late getting to the gym. Once I finally drug my butt out of bed and realized I would be late, I tried to talk myself out of going. Fortunately, strength prevailed and I made it... 40 minutes late, but I was there. Had a good weight training workout, went back home, got ready for work and left. Halfway there, I realized I had left my trusty water bottle at home. I didn't want to be at work all day without my water bottle because whenever I don't have it I don't drink nearly as much water as I should.
For some reason I just couldn't get past this silly water bottle issue, so I got this bright idea to stop by the grocery on the way to work and pick up a bottle of Powerade (I like the wide mouth on those bottles). I figured after I drank all the Powerade I could use the bottle for water today and then leave it at work so I wouldn't have to worry about not having a large container at work in the future. Pretty good idea, right? Well, it would have been, but the buck didn't stop there.
Insane Act #1: After I got to the store, I also picked up a can of roasted cashews and that's when the trouble started.
Insane Act #2: I deluded myself into believing that I could eat just 2 oz. of cashews and a tangerine for breakfast, in lieu of my normal cereal and soy milk. Not a good idea, although it wouldn't have been so bad had I just STOPPED at 2 oz. (320 calories and 26g fat). But I didn't! I ate about 4.5 oz. for a whopping 695 calories, and 58g of fat. Pathetic!
Insane Act #3: I ate a jumbo-@$$ muffin which rung up at nearly 400 EMPTY calories! How sad is that?
Insane Act #4: I just finished eating the rest of the can of cashews, adding 865 calories and 72g fat to my already BUSTED daily allowance. Now my stomach hurts. Just shoot me now!
The only thing I can say is, had I just gone straight to work and not worried about that silly-@$$ bottle, none of this would have happened. Well, the cashews wouldn't have happened. Regarding the muffin, I knew better. I just SNAPPED! Plain and simple. Lesson learned regarding cashews: I still ain't ready!
*Warm-up: Walking (treadmill) 15 min. @ 3.0 mph, 0.73 mi., 86 cals. *Weight Training: 45 min. (3x10), 220 cals.
Okay, moving on. I decided not to do yoga this evening. I've already worked out four straight days this week, including weight training today, and since I'm scheduled to do C25K training tomorrow, I want my legs to be as fresh as possible in the morning. My plan is to do a yoga session sometime tomorrow afternoon. Since there's no rain forecasted, I think I'll take my running training outdoors tomorrow. The plan is to walk/run along Braes Bayou (one of my favourite places to run). After completing C25K I'll probably walk for an additional hour or so. I really enjoy long walks on weekends because they help me relax and clear out my head.
That's it for now. I'm tired of typing. Gonna go meditate for a while and see if I can discover some answers as to why I had that crazy lapse in sanity today. Tomorrow will be better.
This morning I ran across this article while reading Fit.Style Magazine (published for Bally Total Fitness, my workout place). It never dawned on me until I started doing "hill work" yesterday that I shouldn't hold on to the bars. I thought to myself, "if I were climbing a 'real' hill there would be nothing to hold on to," so I let go. According to the article, I was right. I now only hold the bars for an occasional heart rate check.
Treading: 10 Things You Need to Know
It's like your worst enemy, always there lying in wait. Or maybe it's your escape from the world, a place where you can really focus on you... for once! A place where you can rock out to your favorite tunes or simply work quietly, listening to the sounds of your breathing and the gentle hum of the machine. You can take it slow or really feel the burn, but no matter how you feel about the treadmill, chances are you've encountered one somewhere in your fitness routine. How do you know you're doing it "right" and really getting the biggest payback for all your sweat? Here are some of the lesser-known hang-ups that can keep you from maximizing your one-on-ones with America's most popular fitness machine.
1. Don't hold on while walking; this actually reduces caloric value and aerobic benefits and alters muscle action. It also puts incredible stress on the shoulders.
2. Don't start the treadmill while standing on it -- it burns up the engine and is potentially dangerous. Always straddle the belt and step on when it begins to move slowly... increasing speed while walking.
3. Don't believe there is any correlation between walking on the treadmill and walking outdoors? There is. You need at least a one percent grade on the treadmill to equal the effect of air resistance on a flat track.
4. Don't accept that the calorie counts are true -- these are estimates that vary from person to person, regardless of weight, on the assumption that the treadmill is evenly calibrated.
5. Don't walk too fast, especially on an incline. Walking too fast causes high-impact stress on the hips.
6. Use treadmill running during recovery from running-related injuries because it absorbs shock better and grade can be controlled.
7. Use the treadmill for hill-climbing conditioning in the pre-season of running or triathlon training.
8. After injury, use the treadmill to condition the cardiovascular system and the leg muscles without the stress of downhill running.
9. Use the treadmill to prepare for vacations or walking trips -- use an incline to prepare for cities like San Francisco. Wear a weighted back pack to prepare for hiking trips.
10. Use the treadmill as an opportunity to work on core strength and balance. Stand upright, shoulders back, chin high and let the core support the spine.
--From Fit.Style Magazine, Spring 2004 Issue
Today's C25K workout went a LOT better this time. I was able to follow the plan to the letter. I also did hill work (4.0 and 5.0 incline) again for 20 minutes after I finished my running training. All went well. I think I'll be able to do this C25K thing. We'll see. Overall, eating has gone pretty well so far this week. I'm making goal in most areas. This is good.
Not much else going on this evening. Gonna kick back in a few and watch my Thursday night shows, starting with Survivor, followed by CSI and Without A Trace. Hope er'body is having a good week.
Weighed in at 217 this morning for another 2-pound loss. I'm glad to see this. I was kind of concerned about this weigh-in because last week I ate around 2,066 calories everyday (on average). Had an awesome workout this morning, although I must admit that C25K kicked my arse! But hey, it's all good. Finished up with 30 minutes of hill intervals. Thanks for the suggestion/reminder, Nneka.
Time for work. Gotta roll out. More later.
Namasté!
Update - 8:45pm
I figured out why C25K kicked my butt this morning. I was running a bit late when I left home for the gym this morning, so instead of taking the time to look up today's workout on the C25K plan to see exactly what I was supposed to do, I tried to rely on my memory. Well, what I THOUGHT I remembered from the last time I looked at the plan was WRONG! I ended up running 2 minutes and walking 2 minutes (repeated 5 times). When I got to the office, I looked at the plan and for today's workout I was supposed to run only 60 seconds and walk 90 seconds (repeat 5 times). I don't have to run for 2 continuous minutes (actually 3) until Week 3 of the plan. What a relief!
It's no wonder I felt like I was dying. I expected the walk-to-run transition to be pretty tough, but not THAT tough. While I was on the treadmill I kept thinking perhaps I had bitten off more than I can chew. I was seriously thinking about pushing my C25K start date to sometime in June. I was almost dreading doing it again on Thursday. The good news is that since I was able to push myself to run twice as long as the plan calls for during Week 1, I think Thursday's workout should be a lot easier for me. We'll see. I'm gonna give it my best shot, mos def.
My only other goals for this week are to keep my calorie count at around 1,800, drink at least 80 oz. of water each day, get at least 35g of fiber, keep my fat intake at or below 50g and hold my sodium intake to not more than 2,500mg. So far I've done pretty well this week. Water was a bit short yesterday and today's calories were a bit over, but fat and sodium are looking much better and fiber is well above target.
Seems I'm getting a bit lax again with this journal. Not that I haven't been doin' my thang, I've just gotten a tad lazy about writing, especially when nothing major or exciting is going on. Pretty much the same routine here. Slowly, but continuously plugging away at my goals, taking it one day at a time. Perhaps that's it. I've been busy "doing" instead of "writing about doing" (or not doing).
It rained here nearly ALL day yesterday and there were major storms and tornados in several areas. After getting drenched during the morning while running an errand, I had pretty much written off going to the gym, but the rain finally let up around 3:30 and I was able to get to there around 4pm.
I'm not sure why, but I started having trouble with my shins about 30 seconds into my first one-minute running segment. I just pushed through it, hoping it would go away, but it didn't. About 15 minutes into my workout I had to stop for a couple of minutes to stretch out my shins and calves. That helped some, but the pain came back when I started running again. I reduced the speed by 0.5 mph and that helped quite a bit. After about 10 more minutes, I was able to increase it back to 3.2 and finish the last 30 minutes of walking.
As if the shin problems weren't enough, about 30 minutes into my workout, I started feeling my bladder begin to fill up. By 42 minutes into it I had to stop to use the bathroom. That SUCKS!!! The good news is that the gym wasn't crowded and the ladies' room is just a short hop from the treadmills. I was able to jump off real quick, use it and get right back on the same treadmill. I even left my stuff there (water bottle, magazine, towel and headphones). I had emptied my bladder pretty well before leaving home, but after I got back I remembered that I had a large latte around 2:30. Since coffee acts as a diuretic, more than likely that was the problem. No more coffee or tea before a workout.
As far as the shin splints are concerned, it could have been one or a combination of a few things. I am really lazy about stretching and hadn't stretched at all before I hit the treadmill. Well, needless to say, I'll will be stretching before and after from now on. Also, the shoes I'm wearing look fine and are good enough for walking, but I know they are considered "shot" as far as running is concerned. Since I'm just getting started with my training, I have a little time to look around to see what I can find that will give me the most bang for my buck. Hopefully, I'll have new shoes within the next couple of weeks. Since I usually work out first thing in the morning, the time of my workout (around 4pm) may have been a factor, I don't know.
Today's weather is crisp and cool (approx. 60F right now), which is odd for Houston this time of year. No rain so far. The sky is clear and it's quite sunny. A beautiful, Fall-like day. I had a very good yoga session this morning (my best yet) and I know the coolness helped a lot. I'm holding all of my poses for the entire time and much more comfortably than before. My breathing is improving dramatically and I'm getting stronger and stronger with each session. I'm so glad my practice is finally starting to show significant signs of improvement.
I've decided to follow the Couch-to-5K training programme, starting tomorrow morning. I'm going to do my best to stick to the plan as it is written, but I reserve the right to modify it as necessary. Hopefully, I'll be able to move through each week on schedule, but I have no shame in my game about repeating weeks if I feel the need. I just want to run, plain and simple, and experience the least painful transition possible. I've made out a new workout schedule for May. Perhaps one day soon I'll get around to updating my progress chart and training log. I did manage to update the side bar today, though. Anyway, here are the digits for the past few days:
Last, but certainly not least, I've accumulated 5,738 points (5,378 of which I earned in April) towards the 20,000 required to complete my first President's Challenge Award. I'm 28% of the way there and if I continue at my current pace I should have the Bronze sometime in July.
That's it for now. Time to start cooking, cleaning and get this hair done again so I can kick back and relax with my British programmes this evening. Be back later to update today's digits. Hope everyone is having a nice weekend. I know I am! :o)
Not the
average girl in the videos, that's for dang sure. Lover of
jazz, good wine, green and chai teas. Sometimes serious, often
playful, always intelligent. Strong at times, weak at
others. Decent looking on the regular, sexy when I wanna
be. Hater of BS and drama, minder of my own bizness. Still
not satisfied? Click here.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be
brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?'' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't
feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us. It's not just some of us; it's in
every one of us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
—Marianne Williamson
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design by DivaFlava.com (Uhm, that would be me)
Not the
average girl in the videos, that's for dang sure. Lover of
jazz, good wine, green and chai teas. Sometimes serious, often
playful, always intelligent. Strong at times, weak at
others. Decent looking on the regular, sexy when I wanna
be. Hater of BS and drama, minder of my own bizness. Still
not satisfied? Click 
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