I finally made it to the gym today and my workout felt GREAT! YaY!!! Some parts were a tad difficult, but I got through it. Walking a mile on the treadmill before I started lifting was a good warm-up so I'll continue with that. I recorded all the machines I will be training on, amount of weight, number of reps and sets, etc. Now I'm setting it all up on yet another spreadsheet so I can track my progress.
I've always loved weight training and have been thinking of getting back into it for a looooooong time. Now my time has come...I'm finally doing it. I'm sooooo excited! I just have to remember the psychological aspects of the difference between the weight of fat vs. muscle so that I don't become discouraged if the scale doesn't show what I want it to show in the beginning. To help with that, I've decided to track my bust, waist, hips, thigh, calf, and ankle measurements, as well as my BMI. I can hardly wait to see my progress as the weeks and months go by.
I'm doing better with my calories today; I've had 1,250 so far and I intend to eat a light snack after I get back from my walk this evening. I'm so glad I finally woke up and decided to stop wasting so much time on the Internet (and the computer in general) and start investing that time in improving/reinventing ME! The payoff is so much more rewarding and I'm starting to feel more and more balanced each day. I just wish I had caught this revelation sooner. Oh well, oh well...better now than never. :o)
That's all for now. I'll be back later to update my stats and food log.
DUN-NUN-NAH!!! Okay, it's Monday weigh-in for me...time to pay the piper! Well, I'm EXTREMELY happy to report that through it all last week, not only was the collateral damage from the ice cream sandwiches held to a minimum, but I somehow managed to lose three pounds. Yep, that's right...3 pounds!!! YaY! *doing my happy dance* I couldn't believe it. I weighed five times to be sure. I guess all the housework I've been doing lately kinda made up for not getting to the gym. Oh, and I was absolutely right about last week's PMS...I'm in full swing now.
The bad news is that I didn't eat breakfast again this morning. Although I know it's supposedly the most important meal of the day, I guess I'm just not a big breakfast eater. (Actually, I had planned to make myself a nice veggie omelette this morning...hmmm, perhaps that'll make a good lunch.) I was up a bit late last night cleaning, so I slept late and didn't have an appetite when I got up and I still don't. I've noticed that right before my cycle I often get really KRAZEEE with cravings, but when it actually gets here, my appetite kinda slows down for a few days, so I'm not gonna worry too much about the breakfast thing right now. I'm just gonna go with my natural flow and see what happens. Besides, it seems to be working out pretty well for right now...things are balancing out, so why mess with a good thing? HA!
Well, that's pretty much it for now. Other than the usual aches and slight bloating, I'm feelin' pretty good today, but I don't really feel like typing right now. Besides, I've got tons of other stuff to do. I'll be back later to update my food log and stats for the day.
Wishing everyone a super-duper week! :o)
Namasté!
[EDIT - 8:55pm] I finished my 2.2 mile walk at 8:30 and I feel much better than when I started. Unfortunately, I haven't had enough calories today. I had planned on eating a snack a little while after I got back from walking, but my appetite hasn't returned and I still feel full from dinner. I also need to finish drinking the remaining 22 of my 88 oz. of water and I just can't see eating after that. I'm not gonna worry too much about today's low calorie intake, but hopefully I'll do better tomorrow. I've noticed that I can't hold as much food or liquid in my stomach as I could a couple of weeks ago. This is a good thing! :o) [/EDIT]
Things started off pretty well yesterday, but went downhill fast last night. Remember that big "calorie deficit" I had Thursday? Well, lets just say I have MORE than compensated for that. I stayed up waaaaaay too late again and during the course of the night, I had a psychotic episode of sorts. Yep...I LOST it. Suffice it to say, last night I turned a 12-pack into a 6-pack and if this happens again, those ice cream sandwiches are history!!! I guess I'm just not yet ready for the bling-bling world of ice cream sandwiches. Oh, and I've come to the conclusion that the Merlot is NOT a good idea right now either. By the time I finally went to bed, my calorie tab was a WHOPPING 3,150 and the bill comes due on Monday. :o( More poor choices. My only defense, which is only a partial explanation, is PMS! Nuff said.
Oh well, oh well...today is a new day. Let's hope I can get a grip!
That green tea I had last night did me in. It took me FOREVER to finally fall asleep. Did I realize the tea was caffeinated? Yes, but noooooo, I just had to have my tea. Well, that's what I get for TRIPPIN'!!! I don't know what made me think I could drink a caffeinated beverage at 10pm and then expect to go to sleep a couple of hours later. Man, talk about poor choices. As a result of the tea and not having enough calories yesterday, I woke up feeling really weird. I think I managed to get about 6 or 7 hours of sleep, but I don't think I rested well, plus I got up to use the bathroom like 3 or 4 times. Needless to say...no more tea for me after 6pm, unless it's decaf. [Note to Self: Pick up some decaf green tea this weekend.]
Today has started off pretty well, all things considered. I ate a pretty light breakfast to give my stomach a chance to adjust after not having any solid food for over 13 hours...little unplanned mini-fast there. LOL I know this may sound strange to some, especially those who've never experienced it, but I can actually feel my body losing weight. I don't know how to describe it, except to say that it is definitely a very unique feeling - kinda sorta like a queasy feelin', but not really (if that makes any sense). The weight loss is a good thing, of course, and the feeling is not really uncomfortable - just kinda weird. Hopefully, I'll adjust to it pretty soon.
Nothing else really goin' on right now; it's still kinda early. I'm enjoying a nice mug of ginger-lemon-green tea right now and about to listen to some jazz while I prepare to go to the gym...yep, that's right...the gym. Wish me luck! I'll be back later to update my food log, stats. etc.
I finished doing my yoga at 9:20 tonight (finally) and let me tell ya...this new Yoga Conditioning for Weight Loss video ain't no joke baby! HA! It had me sweatin' more than walking does. It felt good to finally get back into it and I really like this video. My goal is to do it three times a week until my fitness increases enough for me to do it more often. We'll see. Thank you, God, for helping me to get off my butt and exercise today!
I didn't do very well with my eating today. I had too few calories...IMAGINE THAT! Only 945 so far and that's not good for my metabolism. It's almost 10:30pm, I haven't even eaten dinner yet and now I don't have an appetite. This is krazeee! I had an ice cream sandwich around 7:50pm and I'm wondering if that is the problem or did I exercise too late. Perhaps my appetite will return before it gets too terribly late, but I really don't feel like eating. I hate eating this late at night and I plan on going to bed by 12:30 (after I watch Star Trek). I really need to break myself from my late night Star Trek habit and start going to bed around 10 or 11. So far, keeping this journal (and the food and stats logs) is really working out well for me. It's helping me stay conscious of what I'm doing and focused on my goals. Oprah (and others I'm sure) said this was a good idea and she was right! It's wonderful to finally be eating better (consistently) and exercising more, but I REALLY need to hurry up and get myself on a regular eating and exercise schedule.
Got my 2.2 miles in today! YaY!!! And unlike Monday night's walk, it felt GREAT! The last half was a bit challenging, but not nearly as much as when I first started. It was a good workout. Unfortunately, now I have a sinus headache that is workin' my NERVES!!!
Dare I even say I'm gonna try to make it to the gym in the morning? HA! I've been thinking about my procrastination with the gym or more specifically, weight training, and I could come up with only two reasonable explanations. One is disorganization and I'm working on that one right now. The other is that perhaps my subconscious is thinking about the scale. Muscle weighs quite a bit more than fat and weight training increases lean muscle mass, which in turn allows the body to burn more fat.
My experience has been an initial increase in "scale" weight when I start weight training. Now I know this is a good thing and even though the scale does not reflect it, I know that I'm losing "fat." I think the psychology of it is throwing me off...for some reason, it seems to be important to me to see the scale go down even though I know what the real deal is. Is that human nature or what? I'm going to work on overriding my subconscious by adjusting my conscious thinking (is that possible?). In others words, I'm gonna gently force myself! We'll see how it goes.
Yesterday went pretty well. Although I decided to rest my left leg more and didn't exercise, I did pretty well with my eating. Darn good actually. So well in fact that I gave myself a little treat...2 glasses of Merlot...and still managed to come in just under budget with my calories. I know I can't make the Merlot a habit, but it was nice for a change. I sat back with my jazz, yoga magazine and Merlot and enjoyed a quiet and relaxing evening. It was nice.
I'm in the process of setting up my reward system, which I hope will further increase my motivation. (Note to Self: Set up an eating schedule, too.) Perhaps I'll post it once I'm done. One thing I do believe I'm gonna reward myself with when I finish losing all the weight is BBC America. I don't have cable or satellite and really couldn't care less...EXCEPT...I want my BBC!!! I've been putting it off because the last time I checked, the cable company that services my area still doesn't carry BBC America and I don't wanna fork up the cash to have a dish installed. But when I lose this weight I may just get my BBC no matter what. Yeah, that's just what I need, right? More TV! LOL
Well, that's it for now. Gonna go have my snack and hopefully practice yoga this evening. I may be back later to update my food log and stats.
Last night, I went for a 2.2 mile walk around 8:30 and I had the toughest time ever. The front of my left calf started hurting so badly that I had to stop a couple of times to rest it and stretch it out. For a while, I thought I wasn't gonna be able to complete my mileage, but I managed to force myself. Jeeeeeze it was hard. The best I can describe the pain is to say it was like a burning shin splint. This is the first time I've felt this since I used to run 3 to 5 miles years ago, and even then it only happened once or twice that I can remember. I sure hope this doesn't continue to happen 'cause that pain was dang near unbearable. I think it might have something to do with the fluid retention I've been having in my ankles the past week from eating all that dang salt.
After I finished walking, I went to the health food store and picked up an herbal diuretic that I've used in the past. The swelling is down quite a bit today, but I think it's gonna take a couple of days or so for it to leave completely, not to mention a lot of pounds lost. LOL I never had this problem until I became overweight and it seems to have gotten progressively worse the larger I've gotten. Thank God I'm on my way down now, so this should go away after my weight is lost.
Today was a pretty good day and they seem to keep getting better with time. I'm doing exceptionally well with my water intake so far and it gets easier each day. I think I'm finally starting to get a handle on my eating plan and settle into it. Balancing out my eating is already starting to pay off. This may sound weird, but I'm feeling more physically and emotionally satisfied after my meals, especially since I found this kool little treat at the health food store last night. I picked up these chocolate ice cream sandwiches that are actually made from soy rather than ice cream and they are sooooooo good. The best part is that they're only 150 cals each. I checked (online) the calorie count of regular ice cream sandwiches and it showed that they are about 170, which isn't much more than these soy ones, so I might just start buying the regular ones after these run out. That is...if I can continue to control myself and eat only one at a time. LOL If that works out, I'm DEFINITELY gonna be a happy camper. I'm just trying to find things that I can eat that are satisfying and not detrimental to my plan. I don't mind making sacrifices, which is already difficult enough, but I can't deal with feeling deprived all the time. So far, these ice cream sandwiches are doing the trick. I'm looking forward to having one tonight.
Now I just gotta get with the exercise program...I'm tired of seeing all those little "zeros" for exercise on my stats page. LOL Initially, I thought the most challenging element of my lifestyle and weight management plan would be the changes in my eating, but I was dead wrong. So far, getting motivated to exercise (especially going to the gym to do my weight training) seems to be the most difficult obstacle for me to hurdle. I don't know what my problem is. I've paid my renewal fee, which by the way turned out to be only $79, and I still didn't go today. Perhaps my subconscious was thinking about all the pain I had during my walk last night. I didn't walk today and I'm not gonna walk tonight. I'm gonna give my leg a rest and try it again tomorrow. And my poor little yoga practice is suffering BIG time. I haven't done it since Monday, April 14. Again, I don't know what the problem is there either, but I did buy a new yoga magazine last night so it my help motivate me when I finally start reading it. (Note to Self: Renew yoga magazine subscriptions.)
Well, that's pretty much all I can think of right now. I'm gonna go start cooking for the rest of the week. I'm making my low-calorie, low-fat, Vietnamese-style hot 'n sour chicken-shirmp-veggie-mushroom soup (that I LOVE dearly) and roasting chicken breasts with whole garlic cloves, onions, poblano chiles and chilpotle peppers to use in other dishes. This should REALLY help me out this week and hopefully I'll see one of the benefits on my weigh-in next Monday.
Despite the issues I had last week...massive amounts of salt/sodium which caused heavy fluid retention; excessive calorie intake; waaaaaay too much beef; waaay too little exercise...I still managed to lose 2 pounds. For that I am grateful. Overall, the week went "okay." I'm still trying to find my way and I've decided to change a few of things. One is to balance my eating a bit better, starting by limiting red meat to twice a week, having fish at least four times a week, and using poultry the rest of the time. I've decided to stop using the maple syrup as a sweetner...for now. I'm also gonna start using Morton's Lite Salt and eliminate (as much as possible) pre-packaged foods, esp. those with a high sodium content. The fluid retention is killin' me!!! I know I would have probably done a whole lot better last week had I been eating more poultry and fish, and a lot less salt. Oh well, oh well...I'll get it right eventually. LOL
Well, that's pretty much it for now. Gotta go get my day started and hopefully make it to the gym. Wish me luck! I'll be back later to update my food log and stats.
Have a wonderful week, er'body. :o)
Namasté!
[EDIT - 8:15pm] Okay, by popular demand, I finally broke down and added a Tag Board. I've never really liked these boards because of the limited typing space, but hey, over the last six months I've had several requests (two more today) that I add one. So, am I a nice Diva or what??? HA! I may be back later, but right now I'm going for my walk. [/EDIT]
Okay, this morning I started thinking about my eating and my "bright" idea to pretty much cut out all carbs, except veggies and fruit. Well, I can see already that I'm not gonna be able to cut out carbs like pasta and rice. I just don't feel satisfied after I eat without some carbs (other than veggies and fruit) during the day, plus I've had this weird, unexplainable feeling since I started doing that. It's just not balanced! There is no way on earth that I'm gonna be able to live the rest of my life without having some complex carbs and a few of the things that I love from time to time. Deep down inside, I knew better than to think such a thing. What the heck was I thinking??? LOL Perhaps that was just a desperate attempt to speed up my weight loss process in an unnatural way. Thank God common sense prevailed!
I'm still gonna cut out the "junk' carbs, but I'm gonna keep the complex "good" carbs like grains, rice and pasta and eat reasonable servings. I noticed that when I ate my lunch today (chicken, pasta and veggies), which only totaled about 400 cals, I felt more satisfied than I've felt for days.
Dekora said in one of her blog entries that having 101 ways of doing this weight loss thing makes it difficult and somewhat confusing to figure out the best approach, and it would be so much easier if there was only one way to do it. Well, I definitely agree, but we just have to keep searching and experimenting until we find what works best for us. I'm still searching and I'm not gonna stop until I get it right.
Adjusting to life without my zoo-zoos and wham-whams is tough! For the most part, I'm not a really big junk food eater, but I do have my moments. This evening I found myself thinking about one of my favourites...Häagen Dazs Rum Raisin ice cream. Perhaps in the not-too-distant future I'll be able to have one scoop and be satisfied. HA! I actually did pretty well, though (I had a Chai tea instead of the ice cream). Not quite as well as yesterday, but still pretty good (relatively). I need to find an alternative to junk food that doesn't have a bunch of fat and empty carbohydrates so I won't start feeling too overly deprived.
Hopefully, this will pass soon and I'll get over the craving for junk stuff. I've heard that when you crave something you really want you should just allow yourself to have a bite or two of it and then move on, but I really don't think I have the discipline to do that right now. I'm not there yet and I know it, so it's probably best for me to leave it alone for now. I also need to lighten up on the salt since I tend to retain fluid easily, especially during THAT time. Perhaps I'll start using that lite salt and see how that works out.
I didn't walk or do yoga today either and I STILL haven't made it to the gym yet. :o( Man, it's so hard to break old habits, but I still have faith that I will get to the gym soon, hopefully tomorrow. I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE! LOL I called to renew my health club membership this afternoon and found out that there seems to be some type of error in the system with my renewal fee. I've been a member of Bally's Total Fitness for almost 20 years and I have an excellent deal. I renew my membership annually, paying the full amount at once, which is usually around $85 (is that great or what?). I got online to renew it today, but the online system was unable to access my account.
So I called my local club to get the exact amount. Their system shows my renewal amount as $84, but for some reason, there is also a past due amount of $159. Because I pre-pay annually, I'm always current for the 12-month period; therefore, it's not possible for me to have a past due amount. The lady I spoke with agreed, but since Bally's corporate office is closed on weekends, there was nothing she could do. She approved me to come into the club this weekend and work out, but suggested I not renew my membership until I talk to corporate and get things sorted.
Other than the above, my day was uneventful and laid back as usual. Hopefully, I'll do better with my eating and exercise tomorrow. I noticed that had it not been for the two extra boiled eggs I ate about an hour before dinner, my calorie count would have been around 1,640 instead of 1,800, which thankfully is my daily calorie max. Alternately, had I not put the maple syrup in my Chai tea to sweeten it, my calories would have been 1,590. (I MUST find an alternative sweetener with fewer calories.) Now if I had eliminated both the extra eggs and the syrup, the count would have been only 1,430, which is even better.
I ate the eggs while I was cooking dinner because my weak discipline did not allow me to wait just one more hour for dinner to be done. I should have either waited or cooked earlier. Next time, I think I'll eat an apple. This is one of the positives about journaling my food - I can analyze what I'm doing, detect patterns, and make adjustments to correct any problems I find. Oh well, another lesson learned. Just gotta plan a little better from now on. I'm just trying to find an eating plan and a level of discipline that I can continue for life and I'm gonna keep at it until I do.
Well, I did even better today than yesterday, thank God. I regrouped and changed my food game plan and as a result, I did very well with my eating and water; only 1,675 calories and 112 oz. Good Diva! Good Diva! :o) I decided to cut out high hyperglycemic carbohydrates such as crackers, breads (except for Ezekiel bread), white potatoes, pasta, rice, etc., and eat more fruit and veggies instead. I'll do that for a couple of weeks or so and see what happens. I have a feeling that's gonna make a big difference.
Although I didn't do my yoga or make it to the gym today, I did manage to walk 2.2 miles this evening. YaY! I'm not sure, but I think walking in the evenings reduces my appetite. I had planned to walk early mornings around 5:30, but so far I haven't done that yet. I've been walking mainly in the evenings and it really feels good. I'm gonna try my best to do my weight training at the gym tomorrow, as well as walk and do my yoga. It's just kinda hard to get into a regular exercise routine after doing nothing for so long, but I'll get there. This whole new lifestyle change is really starting to get exciting for me. I'm beginning to look at the big picture and visual my goals more, which is helping me stay focused and motivated.
Rather than do the activity calendar, I decided to create a food log where I will journal my eating on a daily basis. Actually, I am scheduling my exercise activities, but I just decided not to post my calendar. Since I'm already posting my stats, it seems a bit redundant to post the calendar, too. The food log is a good idea because it forces me to look at what I'm eating and when, and should help me keep my eating in check until I can develop more discipline. I think I'll continue to journal my food for quite some time, perhaps even after I reach goal. Speaking of goals, I realized today that I haven't posted my goals yet. I don't want to add another section to the site, so I think I'll put 'em in the Before & After section.
Well, that's pretty much it for now. I'm gonna go kick back, relax, watch Dharma & Greg and Star Trek, then meditate before I go to bed.
Have a wonderful weekend people. Happy Easter! :o)
Okay, I did a bit better today. I walked 1.3 miles, drank 80 oz. water and managed to only consume 1,810 calories, which is just slightly over my daily max of 1,800. YaY!!! I already have my meals planned for the next three days, so unless I just lose my dayum mind or something, I shouldn't have too many problems. My calorie total for the next three days is set for around 1,650 each. I know that pre-planning my meals as much as possible is one of the major keys to my success.
I still haven't made it to the gym this week, but I plan to go tomorrow morning. I'm also planning on walking and doing my yoga tomorrow, too. As part of my original strategy, I'm in the process of completing my activity calendars for the rest of April and May. I believe that pre-planning my exercise time is another major key to success. I'm really trying hard to get my act together.
I've found new motivation from surfing the sites of other Pals4Life members, which is what it's all about, right? What a really great group we have. These ladies are doin' the dayum thang! LOL They're doing a fantastic job with their weight management programs and some have lost more than 50 lbs. already. That really inspires me to raise the level of my game. I'm getting excited. You go, girls! Handle ya business, ladies. *smile* I also joined the Walking Pals group and I look forward to posting my mileage with the rest of the walkers.
Nothing else major goin' on. I'm feeling pretty good about my new motivation and I'm looking forward to seeing how I progress over the next few weeks.
Wishing er'body a blessed and disciplined Easter weekend! :o)
Well, I pretty much blew it yesterday. :o( I just went BUCK wild after 9pm. I ate everything that wasn't nailed down. LOL Man, I can't believe me! I don't know what the heck got into me. I just went NUTZ!!! Something must be bothering me and I need to investigate and find out what the problem is. I know a lot of it has to do with me staying up so late. I already know it's not good for me to stay up past 11pm, but jeeeeeze!!! That seems to be when I start having the most problems. It's 3am and I'm still up. This is ridiculous!
When I added up my calories for the day, they were WELL over my 2,000 calorie limit; 3,175 to be exact. Bad Diva! Bad Diva! I also didn't get in that walk or the yoga. Am I on a roll or what? HA! Well, one positive is that I did manage to drink over 96 oz. of water. Imagine that! All that water still doesn't balance out all those dayum calories, though. LOL When I totaled up my calories, I noticed that it was all those dang crackers and the Maltas (yeah, I went back and had another one) that did me in. Those alone totaled 1,230 calories. Well, that's a lesson learned...I hope. No more Maltas for a while and I'mma have to be more disciplined about the crackers. Gotta cut out the junk stuff. It's just not worth it. Besides, I don't normally eat much bread and crackers and I don't usually drink the Maltas.
I've fallen in love with yogurt lately and have been eating it everyday. I've always liked it, but lately it's been pimping me...BIG time! Yesterday I had two (8 oz. each) and those totaled 560 calories. I know that's too many calories to spend on something that doesn't fill you up, but I just couldn't seem to help myself. I LOVE the taste of yogurt. I know I could save a lot of calories, about half, by buying the low calorie kind, but I'm not into artificial sweeteners anymore, especially aspartame. I like the way aspartame tastes and I could save loads of calories by using it and products that include it, but it's extremely bad new for the body and I already have enough bad habits to break.
Oh well, oh well...today is a new day and I'm gonna hang in there. Okay, time to stop rambling and go to bed. I'm praying that today goes a lot better than yesterday. I'm definitely gonna make the effort. I'll be back later. :o)
Happy Hump Day, er'body! I finally got this blog set up. YaY!!! :o) Big shout out to all the ladies over at Weight Loss Pals4Life. It's good to be a part of the new group and I look forward to losing and sharing with you guys. A special thank you to Michelle for inviting me.
So far, I'm having a pretty good day. It started off kinda whack 'cause I couldn't figure out how to get the path set properly for this blog, but then, all of a sudden, I remembered. And yes, it was something VERY simple that I just forgot. Oh well, at least it's done now and I can move on to something else. I still haven't switched over to Movable Type yet (lazy me!), but hey, since Blogger seems to have gotten its act together, I'mma just hang for a while...well, until they piss me off again! LOL
The food and water thing are going pretty well today. Started off kinda slow with the water; didn't start drinking until around 1pm, and so far (as of 4:30p) I've had about 32 oz. I've got a lot of catchin' up to do, but I'm on it now. Unfortunately, I haven't exercised since Monday when I did 30 mins. of yoga and meditation. But I did go for a 30 min walk last Friday and an hour-long walk on Sunday. Hopefully, I'll get a walk in this evening and 30 more mins. of yoga.
I tried some new food today. Well, one new and one I haven't had in a very long time. While I was out doing some light shopping, I wandered off to the international food section (as I love to do). I ended up buying some mussels in pickled sauce and octopus in garlic sauce. I've been eating mussels for many years, but just hadn't had any in months, and never in a pickled sauce. I ate them with butter crackers and they were pretty good. To my pleasant surprise, I enjoyed the octopus. I'll definitely buy more soon. The calories content for both is pretty much the same as canned fish steaks (herring), which I also like a lot. Only problem is that the sodium content is very high, so I'll have to limit them to once a week at most. I also picked up one of my favourite drinks that I haven't had in a loooooong time. I love those Maltas. Hmmmm, yummie! I didn't get out of control, though...I only had one 12 oz. bottle. I'm saving the other two for later this week.
I think that's pretty much it for now. Perhaps I'll have something to add later this evening.
Not the
average girl in the videos, that's for dang sure. Lover of
jazz, good wine, green and chai teas. Sometimes serious, often
playful, always intelligent. Strong at times, weak at
others. Decent looking on the regular, sexy when I wanna
be. Hater of BS and drama, minder of my own bizness. Still
not satisfied? Click here.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be
brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?'' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't
feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us. It's not just some of us; it's in
every one of us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
—Marianne Williamson
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& Props
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design by DivaFlava.com (Uhm, that would be me)
Not the
average girl in the videos, that's for dang sure. Lover of
jazz, good wine, green and chai teas. Sometimes serious, often
playful, always intelligent. Strong at times, weak at
others. Decent looking on the regular, sexy when I wanna
be. Hater of BS and drama, minder of my own bizness. Still
not satisfied? Click 
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